There inevitably comes a time in a sexual relationship
when the flame flickers – the heat dims, the romance
fades. Major downer. But the good news: this phase is
normal and most definitely salvageable, says sexologist
and relationship expert Nikki Goldstein. “It’s not the end
of the world and your response shouldn’t always be
about getting it back, but rather creating something new
and different,” she says. “You need to put the same
amount of effort into your relationships as you do the
other most important aspects of your life.”
TREATYOUR
PARTNER
“Spoilingmy partner
with all of his favourite
things can really help
set the mood, but it’s
not just about sex. It
might be his favourite
meal and bottle of
wine, followed by a
massage or spa bath
together. It’s just a
night to spoil him
rotten – and, of course,
hoping Iwill get spoilt
in return.”
TOUCHAND
ADORE
“Outer play always
workswell. It might
sound strange to
refrain from
intercourse, but often
we’re in such a rush we
skip the fun parts. I
love to spend time just
kissing and touching
without the pressure of
performance and
penetration. It’s about
feeling connected, and
that connection can be
a real turn-on and take
things to a new level.”
LAUGHA
LITTLE
“I find that being stuck
in a rut in the bedroom
can correlatewith
other areas in life.
Often doing
something different
that is non-sexual and
having funwith a
partner can bring back
a bit of spark.WhenI
laugh and feel happy
with someone, it can
transform into
positive feelings in
the bedroom.”
CHATUP
ASTORM
“Talking canwork
wonders. It might
sound boring, but
being able to tell a
partnerwhat you need,
andwhat you’d like to
try more of, helps
things go in the right
direction. It also brings
a heightened level of
intimacy.WhenI feel I
can talk to someone
aboutmy desires, I feel
the freedomto relax,
which iswhen
fireworks happen.”
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